Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
