My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
