You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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