So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
