Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
