well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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