The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
