remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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