Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
