dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
