She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
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You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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