Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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