i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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