and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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