I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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