if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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