Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
