I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
