5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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