got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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