I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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