Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
