My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize