If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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