As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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