did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
