This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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