dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize