Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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