did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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