How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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