do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
