the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
