and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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