Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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