come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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