MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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