Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
