My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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