Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
