sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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