you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
