Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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