there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
