the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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