there's paper in my vomit.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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