everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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