I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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