i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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