Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
