You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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