I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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