Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
