no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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