The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
