Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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