I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
