You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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