i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you didnt know i had herpes?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
