im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
