she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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