im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
