The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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