I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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