I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
