I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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